Thunder Sings

excitement

A little less than seven months after my first tattoo, I think I'm absolutely certain of what I want my next one to be. I've chosen my design, my artist and my location. I'm thrumming with excitement. I can't wait.

However, a few things first before I go under the needle again. I'm making myself wait (at least) six months. A little self-control and delayed gratification would probably do me a world of good. All in the interest of making sure that I won't change my mind. Also, it'll give me time to save up for it, because my design is a delicate one (a beautiful, beautiful one), and I want it captured in all its nuance. Second, I want to be able to donate blood first before I go and effectively make myself ineligible for that for another year. Third, I need to get used to the idea that I'm going to be hiding something bigger than my first tattoo.

I'm also hoping that I'll be able to get my second one done with a good friend whom I haven't seen in too long. :) I can barely contain myself though. I can't wait.

Go away monsieur, 'cause all you do is break my heart.

we forget.

I'd forgotten what a boy in love looks like.

omggggg

I'm never drinking again. Ugh. Totally not worth feeling this nauseous.

I texted/messaged him on Facebook while drunk! Kill me please! I apparently like making a spectacle of myself. Ughughugh. I should go throw up now.

depressed

I'm depressed that I've learned the many ways of putting someone in the Friends Zone from actual experience.

This one has to take the cake tho. Put a chick in the Friends Zone by showing her what a perv you can be when you're a gentleman to the rest of the world. I don't think I can explain how depressing this is.

the scientific method

It all boils down to science really. You can amass a body of evidence for a theory, but the amount will never really prove the argument - in fact it'll only take one contrary data point to disprove it completely.

With that in mind, given that you're able to
1. post a picture of a topless girl on yr Facebook Wall
2. joke to me about having taken the photo yrself
3. joke about me getting old (!)

These data points pretty much blow the theory that you might be interested in me out of the water. AND have managed to turn me off. Wonderful.

never-ending emo-ness

I want to be in love. I want to be in love so ardently that it's terrible.

An even more embarrassing confession: I miss being kissed. As in. :|

***

In other news, you've disappeared again. Hay, just when I was beginning to think you could be my new habit. See, it's best not to hope.

I'm putting my jaded cap back on.

jess

Remind me that this is how it feels to like him - like I'm a bother, like I'm uninteresting, like I'm boring. It's not worth it. Help me let go. Let things be. Of all the things I can't stand, I think disappointment tops the list.

and just like that

You're gone.

i need to stop.

It's too easy to pretend this way, easy to think that this easy sense of domesticity means more than it actually does. It's easy to fall into the pattern of knowing yr everyday life and imagining that maybe I have a place in it.

This is my problem. I settle easily into the the Meantime Girl space, get comfortable so quickly in the friends zone. I'll care about yr daily trivialities, ask about the details of yr life that no one remembers. I'll remind you of things that you tend to forget, wish you luck on the small everyday challenges. I'll sit and smile on the benches, while you play your game. All the while, you play for someone else, make the shots with someone else in mind.

Enough. Enough of being sweet and boring and predictable. It's too easy to be taken for granted this way.